Spike Camp

More Good Humor

224KING

  • *****
  • 3611
    • View Profile
More Good Humor
« on: March 13, 2019, 10:31:56 AM »
This was emailed to me earlier.Thought I would share.


Two 90-year old guys, Leo and Frank, had been friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Leo was dying, Frank visited him every day.

One day Frank said, "Leo, we both loved playing baseball all our lives, and we played all through high school. Please do me one favor: when you get to heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's baseball there."

Leo looked up at Frank from his deathbed and said, "Frank you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you."

Shortly after that, Leo passed away. A few nights later, Frank was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, "Frank.. Frank '......

"Who is it?" asked Frank sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Leo-- it's me, Leo."

"You're not Leo, Leo just died."

"I'm telling you, it's me, Leo," insisted the voice.

"Leo!. Where are you?"

"In Heaven," replied Leo. "I have some really good news and a little bad news." 
"Tell me the good news first," said Frank.

"The good news," Leo said, "is that there's baseball in heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before us are here too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play baseball all we want, and we never get tired."

"That's fantastic," said Frank. "It's beyond my wildest dreams!

So what's the bad news?"

"You're pitching Tuesday."

 
Sorry... Yesterday was the last and final day for any and all complaints whatsoever.

I try to avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

Everyone has a photographic memory.Some just don't have film.

Re: More Good Humor
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2019, 10:56:15 AM »
Lol. Good one.
Roger
Faster horses,younger women,older whiskey,and more money.

.257

  • *****
  • 1356
    • View Profile
Re: More Good Humor
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2019, 10:59:40 AM »
Hahaha
Mike

Re: More Good Humor
« Reply #3 on: March 13, 2019, 11:13:07 AM »
An oldie but a goody :) :)

DW5

  • *****
  • 1959
    • View Profile
Re: More Good Humor
« Reply #4 on: March 13, 2019, 11:38:03 AM »
Haha
You cant catch a fish without a hook in the water....

Re: More Good Humor
« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2019, 12:19:59 PM »
MY DADDY SLEEPS NAKED
"Late again!" the third-grade teacher sternly said to little Robbie.
"It ain't my fault this time, Miss Russell. You can blame this 'un on my Daddy.The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!"
Miss Russell had taught grammar school for 30-some-odd years. Despite her mounting fears, she asked little Robbie what he meant by that.
Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth, little Robbie and trouble were old friends but he always told the truth.
"You see, Miss Russell, out at the farm we got this here low down fox. The last few nights, he done ate six hens. Last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his double barreled shot gun and said to my Ma, "That fox is back again... I'm a gonna git him!''
"Stay back," Daddy whispered to all us kids!
"My Daddy was naked as a jaybird -- no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the hen house he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop. Then, he stuck that double-barrelled 12-gauge shotgun through the window of the coop. As he stared into the darkness, with a fox on his mind, our old hound dog, Rip, had done gone and woke up and comes sneaking up behind Daddy. Then, as we all looked on, plumb helpless, old Rip done went and stuck his cold nose in my Daddy's crack!"
"Miss Russell, we all been pluckin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin!" 
I can't tame wild women
But I can make tame women wild

Re: More Good Humor
« Reply #6 on: March 13, 2019, 01:54:44 PM »
Lol
Mark

224KING

  • *****
  • 3611
    • View Profile
Re: More Good Humor
« Reply #7 on: March 13, 2019, 03:03:10 PM »
Can't waste all that meat now can we
Sorry... Yesterday was the last and final day for any and all complaints whatsoever.

I try to avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

Everyone has a photographic memory.Some just don't have film.

Re: More Good Humor
« Reply #8 on: March 13, 2019, 03:21:19 PM »
Those are good! Thanx for that!

PARA45

  • *****
  • 3837
    • View Profile
Re: More Good Humor
« Reply #9 on: March 14, 2019, 03:22:43 PM »
LMAO!!!!!  You guys owe me a new key board.....SLMAO!!!!

Re: More Good Humor
« Reply #10 on: March 14, 2019, 05:14:32 PM »
there's a couple of classics! Thanks for sharing.

danno50

  • *****
  • 3120
    • View Profile
Re: More Good Humor
« Reply #11 on: March 18, 2019, 09:38:45 AM »
 Couple of great jokes. How about one more?

  A Golfer goes to the confessional. "Forgive me father, for I have
sinned.”

"What is your sin, my child?" The priest asks back.
"Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible."
"When did you do use this awful language?" said the priest.
"I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards."
"Is that when you swore “my child?"

"No, Father." Said the man.
"After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away."
Is THAT when you swore?" asked the Priest again.

"Well, no." said the man, "You see, as the squirrel was running, a Hawk came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"
"Is THAT when you swore?" asked the amazed Priest.

"No, not yet." The man replied. "As the Hawk carried the squirrel away in his claws, it flew towards the green. And as it passed over a bit of forest near the green, the squirrel dropped my ball."
"Did you swear THEN?" asked the now impatient Priest.

"No, because as the ball fell it struck a tree, bounced through some bushes, careened off a big rock, and rolled through a sand trap onto the green and stopped within six inches of the hole."
The Priest jumps in,“Don’t tell me you missed the f**king putt.
« Last Edit: March 18, 2019, 09:40:33 AM by danno50 »
DosEquisShooter

PARA45

  • *****
  • 3837
    • View Profile
Re: More Good Humor
« Reply #12 on: March 18, 2019, 01:47:43 PM »
LMAO!!!!!!  Good one Danno.

Re: More Good Humor
« Reply #13 on: March 18, 2019, 02:20:14 PM »
That's great!!!! Thanks Danno.
Weatherby Rifles:
M5 USA .257
M5 USA 6.5-300
M5 USA 300
M5 German 300
M5 .308 TRR
VG .308
VG 270
Other:
Win M70 30-06
Brn XBolt HC Speed 300 WSM
McMil G30 Dynasty 270 WSM
Ber B-14 HMR 6.5 CM
Mar 1895 SBL 45-70
Win 94 pre 64 30-30
4 AR-15 Match 5.56
2 AR-15 Match Wylde .223
1 AR-10 Match .308

BB340

  • *****
  • 1730
    • View Profile
Re: More Good Humor
« Reply #14 on: March 18, 2019, 02:30:13 PM »
This is the only joke I can really remember....

What is 3 feet long and f#*k's chickens??

An Axe!
Aussie gun nut.